Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012)

Director: Richard Schenkman                       Writer: Richard Schenkman
Film Score: Chris Ridenhour                         Cinematography: Tim Gill
Starring: Bill Oberst, Jr., Ken Igleheart, Rhianna Van Helton and Josh Sinyard

On the cover of Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies there is a disclaimer warning that the film is in no way related to or associated with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. That’s for sure. The two films could not be more different in nearly every category, and in every category there is only one differentiation: Vampires goooooood, Zombies baaaaaaaad. Obviously the film was slapped together to capitalize on the success of Vampire Hunter, and it worked. Because of how good the former film was a lot of people, myself included, decided to take a look at the later, with disappointing results.

How bad is it? Let me count the ways. First, the acting. It’s bad. Ed Wood bad. Most of these people have no business in front of a camera, with the possible exception of Bill Oberst, Jr., as Lincoln. He manages to be about the only convincing character in the film. Second, the script. It doesn’t really make a lot of sense. The actors appear to be incredibly frightened of monsters who barely move and are easy to spot. If they sat and talked about the whole thing for five minutes, they could have figured all of this out and saved us from having to watch the rest of this awful film. Third, the set. Shot almost entirely on the site of an old civil war fort that is so clean it doesn’t look as if anyone fought there for . . . oh, a hundred and fifty years. Four, five, and six: special effects (of which there are none), makeup (which looks ridiculous on the zombies), and anachronisms (Teddy Roosevelt appears as a kid, though he wouldn’t be born until three years after Lincoln’s death).

It’s one thing to make a cheap film because of a limited budged. The H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society does it all the time. But they make GREAT movies. So that’s no excuse. House of the Wolf Man was a bad film as well, but at least you felt they really wanted to do a good job. Asylum has been making low-budget horror flicks for several years now and they have a cult following. But what gets under my skin about Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies is the obvious attempt to make money off of a superior film by copying the concept and releasing it simultaneously with the better film in order to fool unsuspecting movie watchers. If you liked Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and you’re thinking about renting this one, do yourself a favor . . . don’t.